I’m angry at God. I don’t understand how everyone in my life can find happiness… How the people that hurt me so much when I was younger can go on with their lives and be “blessed” and such while I hurt, yearn, and hunger for some kind of life other than this stale, depressing, hurtful one. I used to pray solidly for years… I followed as best as I could. I did everything and I believed. It’s truly as if God hates me. Or has forgotten me.
I need advice, because I’m pulling away from the only thing that ever gave me comfort; hope and trust in God. I mean, if He pulls away from me, why shouldn’t I from Him? I don’t want to do this… but I feel as if there’s no choice. Please… Help me.
You mention people who hurt you. Do you wish them to suffer? Could your distain for them be hindering your relationship with God?
God is loving and forgiving. He loves you and forgives you (if you have truly repented and put your trust in Christ). He wants you to be loving and forgiving too. This not only pleases God but is also in your best interest. Hate and unforgiveness hurts us and disrupts our relationship with God. Seek God’s love and power to forgive the people you may find unforgiveable.
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
Also, I don’t know how ‘happy’ Jesus was. He seemed to have other goals such as:
Matthew 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
It certainly helps to be happy in life and I hope you can find some with Jesus as opposed to apart from him.